Mental health content

Many people think that "mental health = always positive and optimistic, no negative emotions", which is completely wrong. True mental health means that individuals can still maintain basic social functions (normally go to work, eat, sleep, interact with others) when facing negative events such as stress, conflict, loss, etc., and will not fall into a state of self-attack or self-harm for a long time, and can actively choose to adjust their state in a way that suits them, without forcing themselves to conform to any "standardized health template."

I was particularly impressed by a girl who worked in Internet operations that I received last week. When she came, she clutched three copies of the "Mental Health Test Scale" made online. With red eyes, she said that she must be sick - she would secretly cry for half an hour every Monday while sitting at her workstation. She was so strong that she couldn't help but order fried chicken and milk tea. She gained 12 pounds in three months. She had previously seen an Internet celebrity consultant who said she was an "emotional eater" and asked her to make a food list and do 10 minutes of mindfulness every time she wanted to eat. She persisted for a week, but stayed up all night and had insomnia. I didn't ask her to change her habits, and I only made a small request: Don't rush to change clothes and cook when you get home from get off work every day, just sit on the shoe-changing bench in the entrance for 15 minutes and just watch non-nutritious short videos. If you want to eat fried chicken, order small portions without feeling guilty. Last month she sent me a message saying that she rarely cries on Mondays now and has not gained any more weight.

In fact, different schools have completely different ways of dealing with her situation: a counselor from the cognitive behavioral school (CBT) may help her sort out the unreasonable cognitions behind "Monday anxiety" - does she always default to "I must do all my work with perfect scores before I can rest"? A psychodynamic counselor might explore with her whether this pattern of "overeating when stressed" is related to the experience of being punished by her parents and not being allowed to eat when she failed in exams when she was a child. However, many colleagues in the postmodern narrative genre that I have come into contact with will skip the steps of "finding the cause" and "changing the problem" first, and first work with her to find out, "When will you stop crying on Monday?"

It’s interesting to say that I have a friend who works in back-end development. He saved dozens of “Mental Health Maintenance Guidelines” and listed a KPI for himself: meditate for 20 minutes a day, write a 300-word emotional diary, and exercise three times a week. You see, treating "maintaining mental health" as another assessment indicator to be completed is in itself harmful to mental health. I later told him, don’t do such nonsense. Don’t you always like to play Xiaoxiao on the way to work? Just play openly, don't think "I'm regulating my emotions", just pass the time. He tried it for half a month and said that it was not so easy to get upset over a bug.

Nowadays, the evaluation of psychological counseling on the Internet is polarized. Some people say that it is useless because it is just "talking nonsense to make money", while others call it "spiritual salvation". As a practitioner who has been working for 6 years, I can tell the truth: If you are just a little annoyed by working overtime recently, you can just complain to a friend, have a hot pot meal, or go out to sing K. There is no need to spend money to see a counselor. But if this state of depression and irritability lasts for more than two weeks, has affected your normal eating and sleeping, and even has thoughts of self-harm, or you are always stuck in the same painful pattern and cannot get out of it - for example, you are always hurt in intimate relationships, and you can't help but deny yourself repeatedly, then find a counselor with formal qualifications, or go to the local mental health center for a screening first, which is much more effective than trying to do it yourself. This is the consensus of all clinical psychology schools at home and abroad, and there is no controversy.

Friends often ask me, "Are you never angry in this business?" I roll my eyes every time. Last week, when I was driving after get off work, someone blocked my rearview mirror. I rolled down the window and argued with the person for ten minutes. After the argument, I even bought a cup of iced milk tea to reward myself for "I didn't lose the argument today." If I had insisted on following the "emotional stability" requirements mentioned on the Internet and drove while holding my breath, I might have had an accident. That would be really unhealthy. Nowadays, many people boast about "emotional stability" as if being angry, sad, and complaining is "mentally immature." This is pure nonsense. There is no right or wrong in emotions themselves. As long as you don't spread your emotions on innocent people, don't do things that hurt yourself, get angry when you are angry, cry when you feel comfortable.

Yesterday, I went downstairs to buy popsicles, and I happened to see the landlady and her husband arguing over the purchase of goods. Both of them were blushing. I was about to quit and come back later. She looked up and saw me, immediately wiped her face and gave me a popsicle with a smile. She also gave me an extra piece of crushed ice and said, "It's hot, take it and eat it." After I paid the money and turned around to leave, I heard her muttering to her husband from behind, "Forget it, I won't argue with you, I'll go have an ice cream." She ate the ice cream and rolled her eyes. You see, this is the most down-to-earth form of mental health. How can there be any 100% perfect state? Everyone is just getting on with their days while cursing and cursing. It’s good to have a little fun occasionally and not to fight against yourself.