Methods of stress management

The currently recognized core of stress management that can be implemented has never been "complete elimination of stress", but the establishment of a dynamic balance between "stress source intensity and individual tolerance threshold". The currently proven effective paths are mainly divided into three categories: rapid physiological adjustment, cognitive root optimization, and system scenario pre-positioning. Different schools of psychology have different emphasis, and there is no absolute optimal solution. The method that adapts to individual behavior habits is the most effective.

When I was working with an Internet company’s EAP service last month, I met an operator who had just graduated for 2 years. He worked continuously for 3 weeks during the Double 11 promotion and slept less than 4 hours a day. He carried Salvia miltiorrhiza in his pocket all year round. He said that his scalp was numb when he saw the unread red nod on the company’s WeChat account. He had followed an online tutorial to practice mindfulness meditation for a week, and every time he sat down for less than 5 minutes, his mind was filled with to-do lists. Instead, he had an additional layer of anxiety because "I couldn't even calm down."

In fact, for people who are in an acute high-pressure state, engaging in cognitive construction and mindfulness exercises is essentially anti-human. The field of neuroscience has long verified that when people have excessive cortisol, the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for rational decision-making, is on strike. At this time, the most effective method is physiological adjustment. For example, the widely circulated "478 Breathing Technique" is really not a metaphysics. It was confirmed by a 2015 study by Harvard Medical School: by inhaling for 4 seconds, holding your breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds for 5 times, you can quickly activate the parasympathetic nerves and reduce the heart rate from 120 to 80 faster than drinking half a cup of warm milk. When I was meeting a project deadline, my chest felt so tight that I hid in the fire escape station for 3 minutes and did 5 sets. It was much more refreshing than drinking two glasses of ice. If you don't even have time to stand for 3 minutes, during a meeting, you can quietly clench your fists until your fingertips feel numb, and then suddenly release them. Repeat 3 times, and the tightness in your shoulders and neck can be eliminated by less than half. This is a simplified version of progressive muscle relaxation. You don't need to lie down to do the whole set, and you can use it in fragmented time. Most practitioners who hold a physiological priority view believe that stress is first of all the body's hormonal response. It is more practical to lower the soaring cortisol first and then talk about other adjustments.

But physiological adjustment is "emergency" after all. You can't just run to the stairwell to catch your breath for three minutes every time you see Aite at work. I had previously met a young teacher from a university who was stuck in the three-year assessment period where he was either promoted or left. He went to the playground to run 5 kilometers every day after get off work. The wind on his face felt really good when he ran. When he got home and saw the review comments in his mailbox, he instantly became furious again. At this time, it is the turn of cognitive adjustment methods to come into play. Everyone should have heard the core logic of cognitive behavioral school (CBT): stress never comes from the event itself, but from your interpretation of the event. This is really not chicken soup. A study in the journal "Applied Psychology" in 2022 showed that people who were also denied work results by their bosses and interpreted the incident as "I am not capable enough and will be fired" had a cortisol fluctuation 37% higher than those who interpreted it as "Oh, so this is what the boss wants." Of course, there are different voices here. Consultants of the existential school always feel that CBT adjustments are too "temporary": If you are disgusted with your current job from the bottom of your heart, no matter how much you convince yourself that "the boss scolds me for my own good," you can't stop the subconscious resistance. It is better to think clearly about what you want early on, and it will be more satisfying to change the track.

Oh, by the way, there is another idea that is often ignored by everyone, which is to reduce the possibility of stress from the perspective of pre-scene. This belongs to the perspective of the system theory school: many times when you feel stressed, it is not that you have poor emotional regulation ability, but that the system you are in has too little fault tolerance. When I schedule projects now, I will definitely leave 10% "redundant buffer time" to deal with emergencies such as temporary changes in customer needs and colleagues suddenly asking for leave. I will no longer have a full schedule like when I first started working, and the entire plan will collapse at the slightest disturbance. I once had a friend who worked in product development. When he was working in a large factory, he was so stressed by OKR that he lost his hair every day. He tried various adjustment methods to no avail. Later, he moved to a slow-paced technology company affiliated with a state-owned enterprise. He no longer had to chase data and review data every day. There was no one to look for him after get off work. Even the migraines that he often suffered from before were cured on his own. You see, some pressures really don’t need to be shouldered by you. Adjusting the system where you work is much more effective than forcing yourself to be stronger.

To be honest, I have been working in psychological services for almost 6 years, and I have seen too many people resort to the "standard answers" on the Internet to manage stress. In the end, they end up with a new layer of anxiety because "I can't even manage stress well." It’s really unnecessary. Don’t force yourself to meditate if you can’t sit still. Don’t force yourself to join in the excitement of exercise when you’re out of breath after running two steps. If you can lie down on the table and sleep for 10 minutes at noon, it will be more effective than trying to practice “stress management skills”. Stress is a part of life. You don't have to treat it as an enemy. It's enough to coexist peacefully.