Summary and insights on parenting and children’s health

There has never been a one-size-fits-all parenting template. The core of children's health has never been about catching up with the so-called "standard growth curve" or getting a certain score on the test. Rather, it is about respecting the individual differences of each child while maintaining the bottom line of physical health, and putting emotional health in an equally important position as physical health. What is best for your own children is the best.

To be honest, when I first started doing science popularization, I always wanted to give everyone "standard answers". It wasn't until I met the mother of a 3-year-old child that I completely changed my mind. The mother came over with the baby's physical examination report, her eyes were red, and said that the baby was 2 centimeters shorter than the average height for her peers. The child care provider said that she was not getting enough milk. She now forced the baby to drink 3 cups of pure milk every day and forced the baby to jump on a rope 1,000 times. As a result, the baby cried when she saw the milk, had no appetite for food, and kept waking up in the middle of the night. I checked the baby's growth curve, and it has been stable at the 30th percentile from birth to now. The parents themselves are not tall, in fact, it is completely within the normal range. It is just forcing the baby's spleen and stomach, which in turn hinders the baby's growth.

Regarding the judgment of growth and development, there have always been differences in opinions in different fields: the growth curve of Western evidence-based child care is a large-sample statistical result, and its core significance is to monitor the growth trend. As long as the child's curve has been stable within its own range without a sudden large drop or increase, there is no need to If you want to be anxious, there is no need to stare at the "median line". The judgment logic of traditional Chinese medicine in pediatrics is more biased towards individual characteristics. It is believed that each child's innate endowment and spleen and stomach transportation abilities are very different. Some grow early and some grow late. Forcing high-nutrient foods will cause food accumulation, which will affect subsequent growth and development. Both statements are supported by a large number of clinical cases. There is no absolute right or wrong. The key is not to use other people's standards to set your own children.

I myself went through similar pitfalls when I was raising my boss. My son had allergic rhinitis when he was a child. At first, he followed the doctor's advice of western medicine. After using glucocorticoids for three months, he was relieved a lot. However, when the spring and autumn seasons changed, the symptoms started. Later, he was recommended by a friend and found a reliable pediatrician with traditional Chinese medicine. He looked at his palm and said that the child's spleen and stomach were weak and he should not eat ice. In the summer, the air conditioner should not be turned down below 26 degrees. He was given more chiropractic care. I followed this practice for more than half a year, and he has rarely suffered from rhinitis in the past two years. It’s not that Western medicine is bad or that Chinese medicine is better, but the child’s body is a complex whole, and a single solution may not be suitable for all situations. More observation and adjustment are much more useful than adhering to a certain school of thought.

Don’t mention it, what many parents tend to overlook is actually the impact of emotions on their children’s health. A while ago, a mother brought her 7-year-old child to me. She said that the child had been coughing repeatedly for more than two months. Blood tests and chest X-rays had been done to check whether there was anything wrong. She had taken a lot of anti-inflammatory drugs and cough medicine to no avail. After chatting with the child for a while, I found out that his parents had been divorcing in the past two months, quarreling at home every day, and the child was hiding under the quilt and crying every night. Later, I asked his parents to try not to quarrel in front of the child and spend half an hour every day playing with the child. Within two weeks, the child's cough got better on its own. There are really many psychogenic body reactions. I have also encountered children who had stomachaches as soon as they went to school and children who had fevers as soon as they took exams. No organic problems were found after repeated tests. In essence, they were emotional problems, which were all reflected in the body.

I came across an analogy before, saying that raising babies is like growing different plants. You can’t grow orchids the same way you grow roses. Some flowers need to be exposed to the sun more, some need to be watered more, and some will rot their roots if they are watered too much. I always thought this metaphor was a little bit silly before, but after doing science popularization for a long time, I realized that this is really the case. Some babies are born with high energy and 8 hours of sleep a day is enough. If you insist on letting them sleep for 10 hours, they will lie in bed tossing and turning and become anxious. Some babies are born with weak spleen and stomach. If you insist on letting them eat three meals of meat a day like other babies, it will be strange if they don’t accumulate food.

In fact, after all is said and done, there is no perfect standard answer to raising a baby. You stay with your baby every day, and you actually know better than anyone whether he eats much, sleeps soundly, or is happy. Don't be bound by the "standard height charts" and "student master development plans" on the Internet, and don't rush to follow other children's interest classes when they see them. As long as the child can eat and sleep, is emotionally stable, and recovers quickly from colds and fevers, even if the child is two centimeters shorter than others and can recognize a few fewer words, what does it matter?

After all, our original intention of raising children has never been to raise a "perfect product" that meets public standards, but to raise an ordinary person who is healthy, happy and able to enjoy life.