stress management theory

The essence of stress management theory that has been verified by academic circles and clinical trials is never to "eliminate stress", nor to teach you how to "endure", but to help individuals establish a positive cycle of "stress triggering - dynamic response - active recovery", so that stress becomes an adjustable variable rather than a scourge that destroys health and status. For 90% of people in normal life and work situations, finding the right stress management method that suits them can reduce the negative impact of stress on health by more than 40%, and at the same time maximize the boosting effect of moderate stress.

When I was doing corporate EAP consulting in the past two years, I met a little girl who was in operations. She spent three months in a row focusing on the three major events of June 18th, summer vacation, and the back-to-school season. She slept less than 4 hours a day. When she came for the interview, her eyes were full of tears. She said that she had read on the Internet that stress management means to have a "good mentality", but she didn't dare to complain about being tired. As a result, she suddenly couldn't breathe while squatting in the toilet last week. She was already moderately anxious when she went to the hospital for a check-up. In fact, this is also the biggest misunderstanding that most people have about stress management: they think that it needs to be carried through by willpower, or that it can be resolved by drinking chicken soup. This is not the case at all.

Speaking of which, the study of stress management has long been beyond the realm of chicken soup for the soul. As early as the 1930s, endocrinologist Hans Selly debunked the first cognitive misunderstanding: stress is not entirely a bad thing. The general adaptation syndrome model he proposed breaks down the stress response into three stages: the rapid heartbeat and high concentration when you first receive an emergency task are the body's "alert response" to help you mobilize energy to cope with challenges. ； You can maintain efficient output in the next "resistance phase". As long as you get enough rest in time afterwards, your body will not be harmed at all. ； The real trick is to endure it until the "exhaustion stage". If you go on and on for several months without even a full weekend, it's only a matter of time before your immune system and emotional system develop problems.

But this theory also has obvious flaws - it assumes that all stress has the same impact on people, but in reality, it is obvious that they are rushing to work on a project for a week, some people lose their hair and others gain two pounds, the difference is huge. So within a few years, psychologist Lazarus proposed a completely different cognitive evaluation theory: stress is not the event itself at all, but the result of your two-level evaluation of the event. For example, if you receive the same notice of "turning in the plan next week", if your first reaction is "I will definitely not be able to do it and will be fired", this means that the primary evaluation has determined that there is a threat, and the pressure will rise instantly. ； If you then think, "I've even managed a project that was three times as difficult as before, I'll just have to ask my colleagues to help me this time," and the secondary evaluation determines that I'm capable of handling it, then my sense of stress will be reduced by half. The "cognitive reappraisal" and "thought-changing exercises" that are now popular on the Internet are essentially derived from this theory.

After 2010, the rise of positive psychology pushed the understanding of stress management a step further in another direction. Kelly McGonigal, a professor of psychology at Stanford University, conducted a 10-year follow-up study covering 30,000 adults, and finally came to a rather counterintuitive conclusion: stress itself does not harm health, only "believing that stress is harmful" does. For those who regard the rapid heartbeat and sweaty palms as "the body is preparing me for a challenge", under the same stress intensity, the incidence of cardiovascular disease is 40% lower than those who regard stress as a scourge. Of course, when this idea first came out, it was criticized badly. Many colleagues said that it was reducing the burden on the enterprise and putting all the pressure on the individual's cognition. It was somewhat painless to stand up and talk - after all, if you have to work 12 hours of meaningless overtime every day, no matter how you adjust your cognition, it will be useless.

Oh, by the way, there is another saying that is widely circulated on the Internet: "Stress management is when capitalists create PUA to hire workers, so that you can take on more work." I actually half agree and half disagree with this statement. If you are in an environment that is squeezed without a bottom line, for example, you are forced to work 100 hours of overtime every month and are not even allowed to take off on statutory holidays, then all stress management methods are useless. Running quickly is the best solution. There is no need to hold on to a cultivation mentality. But if you are facing a normal work rhythm, such as occasionally catching up on projects, reviewing for midterms and finals, and giving important public speeches, then stress management can indeed help you suffer less and perform better.

I have been doing consulting for so many years, and the most useful methods I have seen have never been the "10 ways to deal with stress" lists on the Internet. It really varies from person to person. There was a technical director of an Internet company who said he couldn't sit still after trying mindfulness meditation. Later, he came up with a method: he rode 3 kilometers around the company after get off work every day. While riding, he counted the colors of the shared bicycles on the roadside. Guo Degang's cross talk was played in the headphones. He didn't think about coding at all. He relied on this method to survive three major version iterations, and the indicators in the physical examination report were all normal. Last year, I met a parent of a senior high school student who used the method of cognitive reappraisal on their children. Every time the child failed in the mock test, she did not say, "Why did you fail in the test again?" She said, "Look, this time I just found out all the knowledge points that you don't know, so you will not make mistakes in the college entrance examination." Later, the child's pre-test anxiety was really alleviated a lot, and in the end, he performed better than the mock test.

Anyway, I have been exposed to so many cases, and my biggest feeling is that stress management theory is never a mold that gives you a standard answer. It is more like a tool library. You don’t need to pick up every tool and use it. Just pick the one that is handy and can help you get through those difficult days more comfortably. That is enough. After all, who lives without a little stress, right?